2 weeks into it

I've officially been a store manager for two weeks now. The transition into my new store has been a little bit harder than anticipated due to a number of reasons. The biggest problem that I have been facing is the fact that there were many unsolved problems in the store that the old store manager failed to tell me about.

The problem that I encountered on my first day was the fact that the lights for the window displays went on and off whenever they felt like it. No rhyme or reason, they would be on for 5 minutes and then off for the rest of the day. After four phone calls to maintenance and two different electricians I can safely say the problem is solved.

The next problem that I found was that the stock room looked, literally, like a third world country. Exhibit A, B, and C:

After spending three hours gutting the stock room, I would like to report my findings:

1. one broken mannequin
2. a brand new credit card swiping machine
3. marketing signs from 2006-present
4. brand new display fixtures
5. flyers from Black Friday sales 2006 & 2007
   
6. another bathroom (yes, I'm serious)

I have not taken "after" pictures yet, but they will be posted shortly.

The third problem that I came across is that out of three credit card swiping machines, only one was working properly. That brings me to one of my findings in the stock room, which was a brand new credit card machine. After an hour long phone call with the computer helpdesk, all three credit card swipers are completely functional.

My last problem is a bit different and hasn't been solved yet. I noticed the stock room has a weird odor of what I like to call a "moldy jungle." It's kind of a hard smell to describe, but when I found the second bathroom I realized the smell was definitely emanating from that area. The smell has also begun lingering throughout the store. The second bathroom hasn't been opened in seven months and I'm a little afraid of what I might find in there. Once I invest in a gas mask, I will be exploring the "moldy jungle" and reporting my findings.

Overall, my first two weeks have went well. The sales associates are ridiculously more competent than my old ones and have helped me tremendously with everything.

It basically comes down to my new motto for myself:
Innocent Bystander: Saving lives one day at a time.

My vows

I apologize for the hiatus, but I'm writing tonight with good news to share. I recently got promoted to store manager and will be taking over a store in approximately two weeks. The promotion actually came in the nick of time because I almost accepted a job at another company with none other than Samantha, the Loveable Lunatic as my manager. Yes, I was that desperate.

The promotion means that I will be officially leaving the Lazy Slob, the Gorilla, Mary Sue, and all of my other wonderful employees to start over as a store manager in a different store with probably even more wonderful, incompetent employees.

As my first week in a new store is quickly approaching, I have taken the time to write some vows for myself. Although I'm not completely sure that I have the knowledge and experience to be a good store manager, I am absolutely positive that I know exactly what not to do due to my previous three managers. These are my vows that I'm dedicating myself to:

1. I vow to spell check every e-mail before I send it to my district manager.
2. I vow to not have a nervous breakdown and breathe into a paper bag while at work.
3. I vow to not yell at customers.
4. I vow to say "thank you" and "good job" when my employees deserve it.
5. I vow to walk around the sales floor like a human being, not a gorilla.
6. I vow to not be an obsessive compulsive neat freak.
7. I vow to talk to my employees on a daily basis.
8. I vow to be on time to work everyday.
9. I vow to not complain about being "tired" every damn day.
10. I vow to never become a lazy slob, genuine retard, raving bitch, or loveable lunatic.

And finally, I vow to stop writing about my poor innocent employees.

haha, just kidding about that last one.

I love my job!