My vows

I apologize for the hiatus, but I'm writing tonight with good news to share. I recently got promoted to store manager and will be taking over a store in approximately two weeks. The promotion actually came in the nick of time because I almost accepted a job at another company with none other than Samantha, the Loveable Lunatic as my manager. Yes, I was that desperate.

The promotion means that I will be officially leaving the Lazy Slob, the Gorilla, Mary Sue, and all of my other wonderful employees to start over as a store manager in a different store with probably even more wonderful, incompetent employees.

As my first week in a new store is quickly approaching, I have taken the time to write some vows for myself. Although I'm not completely sure that I have the knowledge and experience to be a good store manager, I am absolutely positive that I know exactly what not to do due to my previous three managers. These are my vows that I'm dedicating myself to:

1. I vow to spell check every e-mail before I send it to my district manager.
2. I vow to not have a nervous breakdown and breathe into a paper bag while at work.
3. I vow to not yell at customers.
4. I vow to say "thank you" and "good job" when my employees deserve it.
5. I vow to walk around the sales floor like a human being, not a gorilla.
6. I vow to not be an obsessive compulsive neat freak.
7. I vow to talk to my employees on a daily basis.
8. I vow to be on time to work everyday.
9. I vow to not complain about being "tired" every damn day.
10. I vow to never become a lazy slob, genuine retard, raving bitch, or loveable lunatic.

And finally, I vow to stop writing about my poor innocent employees.

haha, just kidding about that last one.

I love my job!